Dear Diary,

I know we haven’t talked in ages, and that’s my fault I know. I just have been stuck in a bit of a bad place for the past few months and with not many people to turn to it’s just been difficult. But these months haven’t been all bad I mean there have been so many good things. But I sit and stare at this blank page trying to think how I put the words that have been swimming round my head onto a page, a blog. I have so many thoughts cluttering up my mind and I cannot begin to think of where I start.

The only emotion I feel right now is sadness. I used to feel happy and I used to be bubbly but I just find that life has turned on me, has thrown me challenges I cannot cope with. It is hurting me inside and out as these problems I have are ruining a friendship and a relationship I treasure dear. But I have learnt over these past few months that people change and times change. And in some cases the people they turn into are ones you do not like.

So yeah, what do I do when someone very close to me changes, starts to turn. I know our relationship is screwed, it has been ever since that new role model came in. But what do I do. I try to repair the relationship we used to have, I do everything I can to show you I care and what do you do. You stab me in the back. We used to be close and now look what has happened. But you can’t see my side of the story. You only ever see your own side. You look at me and you think I am a mistake that I did wrong. Yes I mucked up I know that but you have to understand why I did what I did. I hope in the future you can forgive me and you can understand but right now things will never change and I accept that.

Ruth x