So I am a few days behind but it is the half term so I am planning to get back on track. Also had to think about how I was going to do this one. This prompt for day 6 gave the question of the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I thought long and hard about how I was going to write this but in the end I thought let’s just go with it. This here is my life story, some may like it others may not. But you have to understand though these things happened in the past I have embraced them now. So anyway here is my story and in a way life in itself is the hardest thing I experienced.
My life has always been one struggle after another. From the start I was always seen as different, like there was something wrong with me. But yet I had hope and I believed that one day I would get better.
A while ago I was diagnosed with a medical condition known as epilepsy. Epilepsy is where a persons brain shuts down, and during that time the person becomes unconscious. Being epileptic meant I fainted every know and then and my whole body would start shaking. But the fainting wasn’t the worst part of the experience for me the memory loss was worse. After I had a seizure I suffered short term memory loss. I often would wake up in an ambulance or hospital bed and not know who I am, where I was but I could remember basic stuff like breathing and talking. In many cases my mum had to fill in the details but still to this day I do not remember alot of my childhood.
Being epileptic was the main part of my life as it was the turning point really. It was the catalyst that caused everything else to fall into place. When the doctors finally diagnosed me with childhood epilepsy (they did this Eeg thing where they stuck electrodes to my head and measured the brain activity), I was put on the wrong medication. So now I had to deal with medication on top of everything else. It wasn’t until only recently did I discover the medication I had been pumping into my system had been the wrong one.
During this time I became a loner. I had no friends and I kept myself to myself because it was better to hide my feelings. Because I knew if I had friends I would have to tell them the truth… That I was broken in my own way. I told lie after lie because I didn’t want anyone to know the real me. I told these lies to make me seem normal to not have problems. But inside of me this pain kept growing, this feeling that I was not being myself and was hiding away locking myself under lock and key. I wanted a way to escape a way to get out of this torment of my own mind. I spent alot of my time surrounded by books as paper can’t hurt you.
So I dealt with epilepsy for a few years and the pain it caused me. But yet I still felt empty I still felt like a part of me was missing. Little did I know that spark was growing inside of me every day getting worse.
When I was in year 8, my mum and the school got educational psychologists as by that time I no longer had epilepsy but something was not right. The psychologists tested me for dyslexia and other conditions. My mum thought I had one of these disabilities and managed to get me tested. While I was being checked the doctors and psychologists concluded I didn’t have these disabilities but that there was something wrong with me.
Well that statement started the process of my mum fighting and battling to find out what was wrong with me. I had many hospital appointments, psychological tests and many other things. I often spent days in the hospitals having various assessments done. Eventually I was diagnosed with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome. These disabilities are on the autistic spectrum and are like social, emotional and physical disabilities. Someone explained it like an umbrella you have the high end disabilities on one end and low functioning disabilities on the other end.
Being diagnosed with Aspergers changed my life forever. It made me realise it was now of never. The diagnosis made me realise who I am, it made me realise I wasn’t different I just operated on a different system. I am wired up differently but do I care…no. The diagnosis may have come as a bit of a shock but I think inside I knew all along that I was special.
So that was my story. I have had alot of bumps of hurdles along my road, but I am learning to overcome them. I was recently re diagnosed with epilepsy and the doctors don’t know what went wrong like I should not have had it come back. But here I am. In many ways my challenges have made me stronger and made me who I am. I can now talk about my disabilities for what they are and not be scared of people judging me. Because no matter what I say I can’t change who I am and I can’t change the way I am wired up because that is who I am. I tell the world my story now to let other people know that they are not alone. I will continue to fight and make everyday worthwhile because I want to enjoy all life has to offer and not bother about the people that discriminate against me. 😃😃😃